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Justine
Justine is a stay-at-home mother of five and a half children. She is currently serving twelve years in jail of accidental babyslaughter of twenty-seven babies. She was known for her courageous feats in the war of her own bathroom. To this day she can still smell Patrick's raunchy asshole. PTSD Every night, Justine wakes up screaming in her own bathroom plagued by subconscious memories of the war. She has phantom pains in her missing middle arm and upper-middle leg. She has tried to go to therapy but every attempt has been futile due to therapists telling her to "suck up, you fucking pussy". Birth Justine was born in a pile of garbage located behind the local Pizza 1 Subs 2 in the year 2072. Her father gave birth to her as she was attached to his hip for 53 years. Finally he got surgery to rid the tumor he called his daughter-child. Her mother left when she was 54 because she was a pussy. That's all I have for birth. Baby incident In the year Penny BC, Justine was watching twenty-seven of her relatives' babies and the Bee Movie. During this time, she was unable to prepare twenty-seven bottles all at once. One would have been a challenge, too. She could not tell how much an ounce was and still can't to this day (which is why she's still in prison). Due to lack of magical nutrient juices, twenty-nine of the twenty-seven babies committed suicide. Alter Ego Midnight Justine was born on August 9th, 2016. It happened when Fiona asked a simple question, to which Justine responded, "What if you gave birth and it was Patrick Clark?". This also led to the birth of Nazi Dictator Pat Scat Clit Pork. Justine Machine Justine is the captain of the Justine Machine, which holds the title of the Car Car Binks of all the group's vehicles. The Justine Machine is a crippled, deteriorating pile of absolute shit created by what are clearly the most unintelligent and inexperienced car mechanics in the business. When she drives the car, the engine screams at a volume of 10,000dB in sheer pain. It cannot go on any longer but Justine pushes it; historians have compared the Justine Machine to Gary from that one Spongebob episode where Spongebob calls him a lady to humiliate and demean him and then Sandy enacts feminism by kicking his butt the next day. The music choice of the Justine Machine, much like the car itself, is utter shit. Justine has a variety of flattened shit donuts that she likes to call CDs and plays them for all to hear. The car screams in sheer pain because of this as well. In the year 199999999999999999999999999999999999, Justine forgot to install a silencer on the car's butthole and now its pain screams are 10,000dB higher. The car's paint finish, much like the car itself, is utter shit. Whoever painted the Justine Machine did so right before they retired; the car is covered in a thick and greasy shade of green called Kill Me Please Green, which makes the car practically invisible in the woods but still shitty. The car's tires, much like the car itself, are utter shit. The tires, which barely hold onto their wheels, are made of yellow vinyl that needs to be inflated much like a bouncy house. In the year 19999999999999999999998, Justine drove over a spike placed on the road by a tribe of fat Colombians and her tire popped, causing her to swerve out of control and the car to scream in sheer pain. The car itself, much like the vinyl of the tires, deflated and became floppy. Justine had to pump the car full of air which caused it to scream in sheer pain. Justine swears to Allah that she heard the car scream, "TOO MUCH. PLEASE," before it popped. Bits and pieces of the vehicle fluttered down onto the ground; one of the pieces, upon landing, screamed in sheer pain. Quotes "Sorry!" "How many stars do you think there are?" "Seven." "Sorry." "Teen movie moment, guys!" "Guess what we're watching?" "Bee Movie script" "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." "Okay, that's it."